


Distance

by dramaticDabbler



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But don't worry he's still a good person, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Injury, Major Character Injury, McCree just doesn't know how to handle things, Reader-Insert, Sweet Jesse McCree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 20:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13107711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dramaticDabbler/pseuds/dramaticDabbler
Summary: Jesse McCree had always been so sweet and gentlemanly towards you. However, you get hurt on a mission and he cannot find a way to cope with the possibility of losing you. What he ends up doing is unhealthy, although he means well, and you can't help but wonder what will happen to your relationship.





	Distance

**Author's Note:**

> wOW second fic and I'm still unsure of what I'm doing. This was just a distraction from all the hustle and bustle of life lately, and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

You had not been in Overwatch nearly as long as McCree had, but he treated you like a seasoned veteran. During a fight, you both fought back to back, an indomitable pair amidst the chaos. When you were back at the base, he spent a lot of his time around you, chatting about everything that crossed his mind. You were happy to have the company, and he became a trusted companion.

Soon, he began flirting with you. It was gentlemanly and non-invasive, but his use of clever, joking flattery made your heart do flips. You gave in to him, now talking sweetly together over a small glass of beer every other evening. Your first date was a night out dancing, and you were pleasantly surprised at how well you both moved in tandem with each other, despite it being the first time you had done so in a real dance hall.

From then on you were truly inseparable, with Jesse acting exactly like a sweet dog. He was much more open and elated when he was around you. He called you pet names and gave you caring, long kisses at every convenience. Around other men, he was known to be possessive, keeping an arm around you and a smile on his face that hid his mistrust.

Months passed, and between missions you were the happiest person in the world. You were oh so thankful that you had been blessed with the gunslinger.

Then, one day, you were supposed to go on a mission scoping out a supposed weapon stash in the hands of some terrorists. It was a simple enough job, so you let yourself sleep soundly until your alarm went off.

"Jesse," you cooed after you muted the beeps. "It's time to wake up." The cowboy groaned and furrowed his brow. You decided that getting up would eventually help him rouse as well, so you attempted to work your way out from under the covers. A metal arm stopped you, however, pulling you in to snuggle.

"Just where d'ya think  _yer_  goin'?" McCree mumbled into your neck. "We got some time."

"We have to work today," you replied softly, brushing some stray hairs from his face. "Drop ship takes off at twelve."

"Your alarm went off, sugar. Ya can't tell me it's not eight in the mornin'," he drawled. "Why the hell'd ya set that thing, anyway?"

"I figured you'd want some pancakes." That stunned him into silence, and you could practically hear his body finally start to emerge from slumber.

"Blueberry?" McCree asked hopefully.

"Just how you like them," you beamed. He pressed a kiss to your temple and allowed you to move around. "I love how my cooking is the only thing that gets you out of bed in the morning." Jesse chuckled at your teasing, and you threw the covers off the both of you.

"Oh, c'mon, that ain't fair." With begrudged resolve, McCree allowed you to nudge him into a sitting position. "You'd better make some damn good pancakes for wakin' me up this early."

"Oh hush," you smirked. "If you hadn't got up this early, you wouldn't be able to see me get dressed for the day." That got him moving with a confident smile on his face as he stood. You quickly swapped your pajamas for your mission clothes and armor before straightening out your bed head. Finally, Jesse allowed you to place his hat on his head, comically pulling the brim down as you stepped out of the room.

Everyone was slowly starting to trickle from their rooms as well, grabbing coffee and heading to the training area or chatting in the mess hall. You invited whoever stayed in the cafeteria to some pancakes, took note of who wanted what in theirs, and started preparing them. The cowboy was with you the whole time, hugging you softly and unrestricting from behind. He hummed low and quiet next to your ear as you cooked, occasionally grabbing ingredients and utensils for you as needed.

"You, Tracer, and I want blueberries, 76 and Hana want strawberries, and Winston just wants regular," you mumbled to yourself, putting the correct batches together before pouring them all out one at a time. As your team mates grabbed their dishes, you and Jesse washed and put away everything before taking your own. It was a calm, leisurely breakfast, one that you relished as McCree took your hand as you ate.

"How long do you think the mission will take?" Lena asked, and Winston adjusted his glasses in thought.

"Not long, if we're just searching for weapons," he replied. You nodded, knowing that this was true. "Nonetheless, we should keep our guard up. The area is around Junkertown, and you all know how much they love their clever mechanisms." The group hummed their agreement, although nobody was really that worried.

Everyone finished their breakfast and drifted apart, preparing for the day ahead and waiting around until the Orca arrived. Later, on the way to the location, you and Jesse passed time by playing card games and sneaking sly flirts between hands. It was tranquil, a way to distract yourselves from the approaching assignment site.

"Objective point in five miles," the Orca announced, and the team straightened their things. Guns and other weapons clicked as they were loaded, armor rustled as it was adjusted, and facial expressions steeled as the agents readied their nerves. "Descending to point in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1." The door opened, and everyone slowly filed out. Without a clear enemy to charge at, nobody was in a big hurry to get anywhere. Winston was the designated leader, so he waited for the ensemble to fall into place.

"Alright, let's get down to business," the scientist began. "I believe that with such a large area, teams are most likely the most efficient method of searching. I'll make sure that everything is even, skill-wise. Hana, Lena, Hanzo, and Lúcio are Team One, Mako, Fareeha, (y/n), and Angela are Team Two, and finally Mei, Jesse, Satya and I are Team Three. Everyone clear on the objective?" The whole team nodded, knowing that any weaponry was to be taken note of and then taken in for DNA analysis.

"Report in anything suspicious, and we'll meet back here when the whole area has been covered. Good luck," Winston finished, turning towards his team members. McCree gave you one last wink before joining his group, and you gave him a big smile in return.

"We start over here, yes?" Fareeha asked, pointing towards a few shacks.

"Yeah, and we cover this area," you replied, sweeping your arm to indicate the whole segment of the land you were supposed to search. "Mako, you used to hang around here, right? Have any tips for where we could find some guns?" The large man nodded and walked up to one of the buildings.

"Anyone looking to protect their weapons would try to hide them under as much metal as possible. Scrap is usually kept in garages in Junkertown, but out here I'd bet it would be in any room," Roadhog told you. You all split to take on each home, checking each room thoroughly for any stashes. After looking in every nook and cranny, you regrouped with the others. Mercy and Mako met up with you, but Fareeha was still gone. In a moment, you heard a loud crash, then a blue blur smashed through a metal ceiling to your right.

"Enemy base underneath the shacks!" the combat armor-clad woman shouted over the communication system. "Prepare to take fire!" Immediately the radio lit up with confusion and affirmation, and you had to quickly take out your shotgun in order to fend off a group of soldiers who streamed from the buildings. Everyone was forced to defend in a circular formation because of the sheer number of fighters coming at you. None of them had adequate body protection or weaponry, so they fell with ease, and the clearing was empty in a matter of moments. You could hear gunshots in the distance, and you were grateful that you could only hear familiar metallic clangs of your teammates' guns. You sped in the direction of the structure with the busted roof, despite your team mates calling after you and telling you to stop.

"We should go into the base and see if we can flush whoever is left out!" you suggested, rushing over to the shack and opening the door. Before you could stop, you were met with the barrel of a flamethrower. The fire ignited and washed over your right arm, causing a scream to tear from your throat. Never before had such a white hot pain shot through your body. Before, bullets had only bruised you through your armor, but this was much more brutal. Mako took out the attacker a split second later, and he called to Mercy. You were sobbing, losing all senses other than your ability to feel agony. The sun-baked earth hit the side of your body as you lurched and fell over. You wanted to clutch your arm, but it was so warm that you couldn't put it anywhere near you. No flames were on your person, but you could certainly feel the damage.

It took a long time for Angela to get to you, and you barely registered anything when she helped you stand you up. Suddenly, another spasm rocked you as a shot hit the same arm, your upper left thigh, and the back of your right calf. Mercy looked horrified, allowing you to crumple in her arms. Roadhog covered you both by taking out the three gunmen, and you made it back to the ship without suffering any more damage.

* * *

McCree's heart skipped a beat when he heard the call go out. You were hurt. Three bullets, and your arm was scorched. He had already made sure that no soldiers were left on the battlefield before the communication reached him. The base was being cleared out by the rest of his team and Team One, people arrested and weapons seized. The cowboy sprinted towards the Orca, panic flaring in his stomach.

Mako stood in front of the ship, the grip on his hook was white-knuckled, and his gaze shifted all over the desert-scape. He was certainly checking for more enemies, and Jesse wondered just what he had seen happen to you. Without any heed for permission, he leapt inside and sped towards the med bay. The door was already wide open, and he flinched with shock.

You were helpless, lying on the medical table with a gas mask over your mouth and nose. Angela was nervously rushing to and fro, searching through all her belongings and cabinets. As soon as she saw the cowboy, she gave an exhausted sigh of relief.

"McCree, I need you to hold her down. I underestimated this mission by thinking it would not be so deadly, and I did not bring my regular sedation. The one that I have is rather painful during administration. She will writhe, but she needs it," she instructed. He had to swallow his apprehension before moving to your side, pinning down your middle and limbs but remaining wary of the major burn that ran down your entire arm. Immediately, you started moving around, and Jesse took note of the tear stains on your dirty face. When you whimpered, he nearly released you, but then remembered that you would need the narcotic in order to be healed without registering any pain. "Alright, here we go. I need her right arm."

McCree let the limb go, and you made a louder noise of distress when the needle sunk into your flesh. He kept his weight on you, but took hold of your free hand and gave it a squeeze.

"It's alright," he insisted with urgency. "Don't worry, huckleberry, I'm here. It's me. Just hold on a little longer. You're doin' jus' fine, it'll be done soon." Despite his assurances, you still whined and tried to get away. He wanted to throttle Mercy for giving you the shot so slowly, but thought better of it when he saw her remorseful expression. Angela withdrew the needle and stood back. Your breathing was heavy, and your limbs did not struggle anymore. Your hand was no longer holding onto his for dear life, but rather it was weighted and limp. Finally, you gave one last sob before drifting off to sleep.

McCree let his shoulders relax and his jaw to release it's tension. He slowly moved towards a side chair and took a seat, watching in gut-wrenching horror as Mercy worked with her short supply of healing materials. He was certainly thankful that the bullets could be removed and healed easily, but your arm was a different story. Science had advanced since he had had to get his prosthetic and Angela was a true miracle worker, but the tender skin that had been burnt was a delicate area. It took much longer for your limb to be patched up, and every second that passed caused another drop of worry to fall within him.

He looked at the blood-soaked rags that just moments ago had been wiping away the flow of scarlet liquid from your body. If it had been anyone else, he would have been less worried. He felt selfish to think so, but the emotional attachment that he had created with you was powerful. All the usual happiness that seemed to radiate from you was gone, replaced with a disturbingly death-like body that lay silent and unmoving on the med table. It crushed Jesse, stealing the life from him.

Hours passed, the underground base was emptied out, yet he still sat in that chair, searching for some sort of movement. A couple twitches from your fingers gave him all the hope he needed -although he knew that you would survive- that you would be alright. No prosthetic necessary.

When the team made it back to the base, everyone was silent. They gave McCree pats on the shoulder, offering their assurance, but ultimately failing to cure his melancholy. Angela said that you would be awake and walking about in the morning, and that he should get some rest. He took her advice, but did not return to the room you shared. For the first time in a very long time, he was going to spend the night in his own bedroom.

Jesse attempted to sleep, but it did not come. Instead, he decided to sit by the window and contemplate things.

* * *

"Good morning." Mercy's voice was the first thing that you heard when you woke up. Your arm was bandaged, but the bullet holes had been fully healed. You gave a weary smile to your caretaker, but then dropped it. Memories flooded your mind, and you thought better of being happy. You were ashamed of what you had done, and how you could have avoided all of this.

"Sorry, Angela," you sighed, gaze falling to the floor. "I was reckless." The doctor gave you a sympathetic look and shook her head.

"Don't be sorry," she told you. "It happens to all of us. I have been just as reckless, if not more, too many times to count. Heroes risk a lot on the battlefield, and this was just an inevitable outcome. We all get injured." You felt a little better, but then you felt a spark of fear. Jesse had to have known, and he would have been worried sick.

"What happened to Jesse? Is he okay?" you asked in a rush. Mercy smiled and shook her head, putting her hands on your upper arms and squishing them playfully with a chuckle.

"He's just fine," the angel beamed. "I told him to sleep last night after he helped me sedate you. You nodded, remembering his voice very hazily right before you'd felt the pain of the injection. After bidding her farewell, you skipped off towards the residential hall, happy that your arm only ached a little when you moved it around. The muscle was recuperating, and cuts could easily open again if you waved it around too much, so you tried to keep it as still as possible.

You knocked on your door, hoping that McCree was not sleeping too deeply to hear you. Ten seconds passed, and you knocked again.

"I'm coming in," you announced softly as you entered. You were shocked to find that he was nowhere to be found. The bed was still made as it was yesterday morning, nothing had been moved.

 _Maybe he's eating breakfast_ , you thought to yourself. Turning on your heel, you made your way back to the main area and into the cafeteria. 76 and Mako were thankful that you were alive, checking to make sure you were not in any pain. After you assured them that you were okay, you asked if they had seen Jesse that morning. They replied with a no, but directed you towards the training deck. You thanked them and went in another direction.

Lena, Hana, and Mei greeted you with the same thankful smiles, but they too did not know where the cowboy was. You thought for a while about every place he could conceivably be, and you finally reached a conclusion. He could only be back in his old room. You passed others coming out of their bedrooms later than usual, giving them waves and guarantees that you were okay. Before you could round the corner to get to McCree's old room, he walked around it. You both froze for a moment, and you gave him a grin. He, however, just looked defeated.

"Jesse!" you smiled, rushing over and giving him a hug. A small bit of confusion surfaced when he did not embrace you back, only stiffen. You backed away slowly, giving him a nervous laugh. "Is something wrong? Oh, I bet it's because of my arm. Yeah, don't worry, I'm fine. What about you?"

"I'm goin' to get some breakfast," he said monotonously. The gunslinger brushed past you like you had never been there. Another wave of disorientation washed over you. He always acted like he was starving for physical attention, giving you little kisses every chance he got or holding your hand. It made no sense that he was being this solemn.

You decided to let him be for a while, convincing yourself that he needed to recuperate after the mission. You did not see him for the rest of the day, and that night he slept in his own room again, not even acknowledging you when you knocked.

The next morning, people asked you what was wrong multiple times. Each time you just gave them a smile to mask your worry for your boyfriend. He avoided you all that day, looking away from you if you passed in the halls or turning around if your paths were going the same way.

He appeared worse and worse every day. Not on a personal upkeep level, but emotionally. You had spent enough time around him to know that something was deeply troubling him, enough to make him distracted and distant from the world. You continued to let him do what he wished, trying not to stir a pot that he did not want stirred. You had never seen him so utterly destroyed, and you would have no idea what to say to him if you were able to talk to him in the first place.

Finally, after a week and a half of this routine, you saw him walking in the opposite direction of you. You grabbed his hand and spun him around, taking note of the shock on his face. Good, he would pay attention if he was off guard. He would not put a wall between you today.

"What is going on?" you pleaded. "I've been trying to let you get past whatever has happened on your own, since that's obviously what you want, but I can't handle this anymore! Just... talk to me. Please?" His features were panicked, eyes roaming over every single one of your features in a rapid succession before meeting your gaze. His thumb brushed over your knuckles once, but then he stifled the gesture of affection. His expression became so torn and helpless as he turned away, letting his hand linger a little before slipping from yours.

"I can't," he croaked. "I'm sorry." He trudged away, and when he disappeared around a wall you felt your spirit break. You had been keeping yourself occupied with thoughts that it would be alright and that eventually Jesse would come around. But that look of pained resolve told you that his decision was final. Silent tears beaded and fell. Your knees shook under your weight, and you realized that you should retreat to your room before anyone could see you like this. Lúcio and Mei would certainly sit down with you and talk about it, but you wanted to at least be able to approach them without breaking down.

You turned slowly, attempting to dry your eyes, but then leapt back with a gasp when you saw Hana standing a few yards away with her arms crossed. Without saying anything, she walked towards you with arms outstretched. She was only a little bit shorter than you, but nonetheless you collapsed into her. supported your weight and helped you walk down to the lounge.

"I saw the whole thing," she finally spoke up. "C'mon, let's take a seat." The gamer opened the door for the both of you, and she let you get situated on one of the sofas while she messaged Mei and Lúcio. It did not take long at all for them to arrive, and Lúcio fussed over you like a worrying parent. You were thankful that you had such supportive friends, stopping your tears just long enough to drink some tea and calm yourself down.

You explained everything, the injury, the past week, and all the emotional baggage that you had unknowingly carried. The other agents sat through it, nodding with shocked expressions and taking in the information. You could almost see the calculations going on inside their heads. When you finished, everyone took a moment to process.

"So he just left?" Mei finally asked. You nodded, taking another sip. "I can't believe it. I thought that he really loved you."

"Me too," you mumbled. "I... I still think he does. It was just the way he talked to me, he didn't seem like he wanted to leave."

"We've known McCree for a long time," Lúcio added, scooting a little more towards you. "He doesn't usually get so attached to anything like he did to you. I don't know why he's doing this, but I do know how you can find out." You gave him a puzzled look, and in return he stood and walked to the exit.

"Hana, Mei, follow me," he said, holding the door as they stepped outside. "Stay here."

You sat there for what felt like hours, nerves itching to move. You suppressed the urge to follow the other girls by pacing, and to a certain extent it worked. It was a challenge, however, to continue distracting yourself from what was going on. Once you had accepted that there really was a big problem, your heart and mind were fixated on sadness. The heaviness in your feet took your mind off things for a little while, but then the door clicked as it opened once more.

"Lúcio said ya wanted to see me, Zenyatta?" Jesse said behind you. He was focused on closing the door behind him as you turned around, but his eyes widened when he saw you. It had only been about ten minutes since you had last saw him, but the shock in his expression made it look like it had been months. Sadly, he let his face shift back into the lifeless form that he had put on all through the week a mere second later. "Sorry. I'll just..." He backed away, grabbing the handle and pushing only to have it barely move before stopping. He lost his composure again, facing the door completely and trying it again.

"Locked," he barely uttered. When he spun towards you again, he was once more a statue. You took a single step forward before stopping yourself, realizing that you did not have a course of action. Finally, after a lot of quick thinking, you motioned towards the sofa. "We need to talk. This isn't healthy, Jesse." His jaw tensed as he went over his options, but then he lumbered over to you. After you both took a seat, you took a deep breath.

"I wanna know what I did," you began. "Maybe it was because-"

"Now hold on," McCree interrupted. "This ain't about what you did at all. It's what _I failed_  to do." You were surprised, to say the least, and wondered what on Earth he could be talking about.

"I don't get it," you said, quirking a brow. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I didn't do anythin'  _right_ , either," he growled, although you could tell that it was not in malice towards you. "I shoulda' been there. Ya got hurt because of me."

"What?" you blurted, unable to stop yourself. You thought back to the mission, not recalling a single moment where he could have influenced anything that happened to you. "Jesse, even if you had been there you couldn't have stopped me from getting hurt.  _I_  rushed into that building, it was  _my_  fault. I didn't listen and made a stupid mistake. Nothing about this is because of you."

"But what if it happens again and you're not as lucky?" the cowboy replied hopelessly. "Angela was so close to not bein' able to save your arm! You could've had to get a metal one like me! I wouldn't be able to look at myself if I could've prevented that from happenin'."

"So why have you been avoiding me? I don't understand."

"'Cuz I don't want to lose you." He paused, and you both caught your breath. You took note of his features, which were now contorted with despair. "I've made too many mistakes. I've put to much trust in my ability to keep what I love safe, an' I've ended up losin' 'em. I haven't fallen in love with anyone so hard before, and I don't want to make another mistake. Just one step too late, a missed shot, a heated argument that I don't mean a lick of... an' I could never see ya again." Another generous pause, and he finally met your eyes for a split second before letting the brim of his hat hide them again.

"I jus' wanted to let you go before I was forced to. Then, hopefully from there we could still build our friendship back to what it used to be. I'd keep a third eye on ya though, especially when we're fightin'. I wouldn't let a single bullet come near ya'. Hell, I still won't."

"So... you want to break up?" you asked slowly, trying not to let your horror show. He took a long time to answer, each second feeling like an eternity.

"I could never stop lovin' ya. I tried to tell myself that if we reverted back to friends I'd eventually lose interest, but... Hell, this week's been rough." His words started to break apart, and you were stunned to know that he was tearing up. "I don't wanna leave you. I don't want ya to leave me." With an unknown boldness, you took his hand.

"That won't happen," you assured him. "As long as we have each other, we don't have to worry about safety. You can trust me, I won't get myself into such a stupid situation again. I trust you, too."

"God... I've missed you," he whispered. With trembling hands, you both embraced with tender strength. It was warm, much, needed contact that you melted into, a seal of your everlasting bond that you had created. Finally, you both turned your faces and exchanged a reverent kiss.

Five minutes later, Lúcio, Mei, and Hana unlocked the lounge and allowed you to leave. With newfound resolve, you both made your way back to your room and slept soundly for the first time since the mission.


End file.
